BeTheAirForYou.PDF by Elemental Alchemy

Author:Elemental Alchemy [Alchemy, Elemental]
Format: epub
Published: 2010-12-22T03:16:56.537000+00:00

CHAPTER 5

I sat there, studying Hawk’s relaxed expression, and the

enormity of what Hawk faced hit me. I hadn’t paid attention in the

doctor’s office because I’d focused on supporting Hawk. Yet now,

after he drifted to sleep, my mind started cycling through all the

things the doctor said.

“Hearing loss progressing faster than first thought.”

“Surgery an option.”

“Experimental implants.”

“Total loss of hearing within two months, if not sooner.”

Fuck me. I scrubbed my trembling hand over my face. Hawk

took the news with stoic calmness, telling Ravri he’d go over his

options and set up another appointment to discuss them in more

detail later. As we left the doctor’s office, I collapsed inside, but at

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least I waited until Hawk fell asleep before I let it overwhelm me.

I wanted a drink. After standing, I dressed, trying to be quiet

and not wake Hawk. My lover needed his strength to deal with all

the shit heaping on him.

I grabbed my wallet and room key, shutting the door softly

behind me before making my way to the elevator. I hit the lobby

button and rested against the car wall, watching the floors flash by.

It was shortly after midnight, so the hotel bar would still be

open. I sat on a stool and flagged the bartender over. After ordering

a Jameson, straight, I rested my face in my hands.

“Here you go.” The bartender set the glass in front of me.

“Thanks.”

Encircling it with my shaking fingers, I shuddered. It had been

three years since I’d even really smelled liquor, choosing not to be

around it if I could help it. I lifted it to the light and watched amber

beams burst through the alcohol. There was nothing as clear as the

world seen though good Irish whiskey.

I don’t know how long I sat, staring into that seductive liquid. I

only noticed the passage of time when Hawk appeared next to me.

“Oh, Rod.”

The sheer disappointment in his voice caused me to blush. I

pushed the glass away.

“I didn’t drink any of it,” I protested.

He shook his head, probably remembering all those other times

when I swore up and down that I hadn’t had a drop of liquor or a

spoonful of heroin, yet reeked of it.

“I should’ve never let you come with me. It’s too easy for you

to turn to substances to dull the pain. You’re still too susceptible.”

While I resented his implied disbelief in my ability to resist

temptations, I understood what he meant. I might have been sober

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BE THE AIR FOR YOU

for three years, but I’d been an alcoholic addict for fifteen before

that. Cutting off those needs was difficult.

“Ask him.” I waved at the bartender.

“It’s true, man. He’s just been staring at that glass like it holds

the secret to the universe.”

I laughed. “I know better than that. After all the bottles I’ve

emptied, I’m not any closer to figuring that shit out.”

The bartender grinned, and Hawk frowned slightly. I realized

he hadn’t caught most of our exchange. There was a lot of

background noise. I leaned over and spoke in his ear.

“I didn’t have one sip, Hawk. I couldn’t do that to you.”

And there was the true secret to my sobriety.

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